Crazy Going Slowly Am I

It was two in the morning, I was getting a little sleepy, and what do I decide to do? Eat some cereal! Yeah, stay up longer. Good plan. Actually I did get a full night's sleep last night, because I decided not to go to Hum lecture and so I didn't have to get up for that, and then my Hum conference was cancelled, as was Tai Chi. So, no classes for me on Wednesday! So I spent a bunch of time in the library instead. Over four hours. I mentioned this at dinner, and the general reaction was, "Only four hours?" Well, excuse me for doing as much studying as I can in my dorm. The library is still a little scary for me. And tomorrow (Thursday) I should probably go and actually get the books from the reference desk that I need and look for some books in the stacks. The problem is, I don't know my way around Hauser Library at all. I can get to the IMC, I know which one is the reserve desk, I can get to Jean's desk which I frequently use and while there get pissed off at all the people who seem to have suddenly decided that the library is for talking and distracting those who are there only to study, and I can probably find the reference desk. Otherwise, forget it. I should probably also find out what recordings of Shostakovich's string quartets are in the IMCs and if they have the scores to them as well. I don't think I can get away with doing my music project without using the scores. I was going to do it today when I went to listen to the Brahms quartets for class, but the guy working there was such a dumb fuck that I didn't get even the scores for the Brahms, though I could see them on the shelf. I can just imagine it, trying to tell him exactly where the book was: "There on the second shelf from the top... No, the one above that one... Right next to the thick red book... On the right... No, the other right!" Not a hassle I needed.

I've been going crazy this week. Monday I was really tired and ended up fucking up the money transfer from my savings to my checking, resulting in a bit of a mess to clear up and an overdraft charge. And then Tuesday I was still tired but also going crazy. There was the being stressed out, and then later I felt like crap, and then after that I was going nutty until three in the morning. I went for two walks when I felt like crap and couldn't concentrate on doing work and neither of them actually helped. But then I hung around with people and that did help. Of course, when I came back to my room, I was nuttier than I was before. Grr. But now I know that when I'm going crazy like that I should just find the nearest group of amiable people and hang around with them. Or go see if Darrow's in, because if he is, that means at least one hour of goofing off, more if there are other people hanging out there too.

Well, I should actually go to bed now. I don't really feel sleepy, but damn it, I need to sleep, and I will. I should probably start deciding earlier to just go to bed. Then I'll get more sleep. Maybe. Or at least not get sleepy at only eight thirty in the evening. And sleep makes everything better. I was okay this morning after having been so crazy even just before going to sleep. And sleep will make my brain better, which I really need. I've been stuffing it full of information, and yet none of it seems to be sticking around long enough. I hate it when that happens. Especially when I have a midterm in Bio on Monday.