Demonic Polar Bears

I'm trying to push through until Monday. It's funny; the more work I have, the more I want to be social. (Hmm, procrastination much?) I did actually work yesterday, after getting out of lab early. Then I took an o-chem quiz and wanted to cry until I went to the extra history class to make up for cancelling last week. I still feel pretty dumb when it comes to studying o-chem, but at least conference makes me feel smart.

Tuesday night instead of studying for hours and hours and hours I went to the Leo Steinberg lecture, which was quite interesting, even to non-artist types such as myself. There were some remarks before Steinberg spoke, and it was mentioned then that art history programs tend to not require studio art as well, and Reed's program is special because it incorporates both, and Steinberg is special because he does both. I remember, though, that my art history major sister, who graduated from UNM, took studio art and brought her projects home (some of which are still sitting around the house). I don't know if that was required, though.

Anyway, once the decision was made to go to the lecture, I lost a few hours of work time. The lecture itself was two hours long. Afterwards I ate dinner with John, then ended up going to hang out at his place for a bit. I did get a bit of work done then, though. Then it got to be 11, and instead of going back to the library to work, I went back to the library to get my stuff and see if I could find Meg. Which indeed I did, and went over to her apartment for a while. So, not a lot of work done that evening. (And I keep wasting time.)

I've forbidden myself from leaving the library until I have to go do some lab work at 4:00. I don't have history today, as we had one short article to read and decided to just discuss that on Tuesday with a couple other articles. So I have the whole day (until the lab work and o-chem lab lecture) to work. The rest of this week will continue being hell, since I need to finish units 8 and 9 for o-chem, and do the genetics take-home exam, which I finally got some inspiration for last night at about two. Still, I'm going to die. Or it seems so. Which might be why I dreamed what I did the other night...

( The aforementioned bears )

(no subject)

I think that I'm working myself toward a nice panic attack and/or nervous breakdown. Thank you o-chem! Apparently I'm twichy today, due to studying o-chem and nothing but o-chem all freakin' day. That was the only class I had today, and there's the midterm coming up, and I've got about four more quizzes to take.

*deep breath*

I'm sure eating two cookies just prior to and during the quiz I took this evening really isn't helping regulate my energy levels. But hey, they were free. And I'm not quite freaking out as much. I just know that I've still got a lot of work to do and am afraid that I won't have the time to do it to my own satisfaction. And I do think that I understand the stuff, just maybe not at the sort of level Alan expects. Or seems to. I suspect, however, that we both have a certain amount of intellectual laziness, and since I don't have a Ph.D or years of experience in organic chemistry, I'm at a disadvantage here. *sigh*

Well, since I feel better about things when I'm actually doing something rather than doing nothing and thus have a chance to start panicking, I'm going to go busy myself with something.