Week from Hell

Well, it certainly looks like it's going to be the week from Hell. There was the Bio midterm today, which might as well have advised bending over and grabbing one's ankles. It was that bad. It made me want to either cry or go into hysterics. Once I finished, I hurried out of the library as fast as I could to turn it in so I wouldn't have to think about it any more. Well, I won't have to think about it at least until Friday or so when I get it back. And then there's the final... But in the meantime there's my paper for the string quartet class which is due tomorrow (and which I haven't started) to think about, and there's my Hum paper, which I want to finish before Saturday so that I can spend that day engaging in well-earned partying. So, I've been panicking ever since the midterm. I should calm down. Of course, music might help that. Might. We will be working on Faure's Requiem in rehearsal today, and sightreading another piece, so it's another potential source of stress. Ack. I have calmed down a bit already, though.

Difficult Not to Feel a Little Bit Disappointed, Passed Over

There's something just wrong with that icon for "anxious." It's much too happy. Real anxiety is not a happy thing. That icon would be more appropriate for something like "anticipation" or something like that. Not anxiety.

I'm sitting in the semi-dark, just my red chile lights on. And there's the glow from my computer screen, of course. And the glow from the display on my stereo, which is actually pretty bright. For a stereo, that is. And, of course, there's the glow from the lights outside. I'm also burning incense, trying to get rid of that shitlike smell from my room that resulted from my leaving the remains of my chicken-flavored Ramen sitting on my desk for several hours because I didn't wash the bowl before going to the library to do my string quartet homework. I still haven't started my paper, but that will just have to wait. I'm listening to A Perfect Circle, here in the mostly dark, with incense burning, trying to get rid of the shitlike feeling in my brain. I don't think that will go away so easily, though. Damn it! This hadn't happened so far at Reed. This was getting to be a safe place from such crappy feelings. I should have known it was coming, though. I can't be superexcited all the time and get three hours of sleep in a night and then be more than awake the next day as a permanent pattern. I think maybe it was that goddamned dev. bio midterm that pushed me over. Well, at least they're not grading the second page, which is the one that I, and apparently everyone else, did really, really badly on. But somehow, that doesn't make me feel much better.

God I want this to stop...