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Jun. 2nd, 2002 01:54 amI managed to scrape off a bit of skin on one of my fingers while playing pool today. Smacked the side of the table on a not-quite sharp edge. But at least I won that game. And I broke for the first time ever, and actually managed to get something in a pocket.
So yes, I escaped to Sarah's to play pool because she was bored. I welcomed the chance to get out of the house and quit stewing in my own pot of trouble. Especially since I was leaving while my dad wasn't home and probably going to get back after he got home and after my parents go to bed. So, with the exception of probably being asked, while still attempting to sleep, if I want to go up to Abiquiu in the morning, I won't have to see him much this weekend. I don't really want to go up to Abiquiu tomorrow because I don't want to be stuck in a car for a total of four hours or so with a man I'm making an effort to not be afraid of anymore, as many reasons I may have to do such a thing. I also want to just stay here and get some things done, like laundry and unpacking and organizing things around here. And getting myself together.
I've started reading over old entries from this last semester, to try and figure out what went wrong. Because right now I don't know. In a lot of ways, it really should have been a better semester. Why then was it the worst four months of my life? But the process of reading is made a bit frustrating by the random restrictions on not being able to read them because of parental controls. But I really need to figure out what went wrong so that I can fix it or just keep it from happening again. But how do you explain a total collapse of everything? How do you find a reason for suddenly nothing working out or going right?
So yes, I escaped to Sarah's to play pool because she was bored. I welcomed the chance to get out of the house and quit stewing in my own pot of trouble. Especially since I was leaving while my dad wasn't home and probably going to get back after he got home and after my parents go to bed. So, with the exception of probably being asked, while still attempting to sleep, if I want to go up to Abiquiu in the morning, I won't have to see him much this weekend. I don't really want to go up to Abiquiu tomorrow because I don't want to be stuck in a car for a total of four hours or so with a man I'm making an effort to not be afraid of anymore, as many reasons I may have to do such a thing. I also want to just stay here and get some things done, like laundry and unpacking and organizing things around here. And getting myself together.
I've started reading over old entries from this last semester, to try and figure out what went wrong. Because right now I don't know. In a lot of ways, it really should have been a better semester. Why then was it the worst four months of my life? But the process of reading is made a bit frustrating by the random restrictions on not being able to read them because of parental controls. But I really need to figure out what went wrong so that I can fix it or just keep it from happening again. But how do you explain a total collapse of everything? How do you find a reason for suddenly nothing working out or going right?
