"Damn the Evil, It Always Approaches During Dinner!"

I hope I'm not giving myself an ulcer. I had a couple cans of Mountain Dew tonight. And so I'm still awake at two thirty with a lab report yet to finish. Just a couple more questions, and I now have a better idea of what I'm supposed to be talking about. But I can't seem to focus on it. Too much other shit on my mind, I guess. Too much stress. My stomach feels weird, what with the combination of caffeine and worry. And my fingers hurt. But that's because I've been tearing at them. Damn it, I'd gotten so good about not doing that since I came to Reed. I think maybe the caffeine has worn off, though. I'm rather down. After getting my lab book back, I found I couldn't focus because I had no idea what the question was asking, exactly. So I asked some Bio majors and ended up sticking around for a while, just hanging out, talking about things. Then I came back to my room and had a giggle fit because of all the damn caffeine I've had. And I still couldn't focus on work. And then I remembered something I hadn't thought about in a while that was actually pretty hurtful. That brought me down. And I still can't focus. But I have to, so I will. Right? It feels a little odd that I'm writing this for a public audience. But then, I have to get it out. And not just to myself, because I've been doing that. That doesn't seem to help so much. I just get obsessed with the thought. But on a good note, the evil has not approached me during any meal this week.