Waiting for... Godot?

I think Alanna gave me her nervousness. But I guess it's a fair trade, since I gave her my insomnia. But now, because I'm nervous, I probably won't be able to sleep, either. And I'm probably going to drive myself crazy tomorrow, with wanting to be awake for the whole day, and trying to find things to do that don't involve phone lines, and jumping every time the damn phone rings, and it will probably be people calling only to hang up most of the time anyway. There are people I want to call, and things I want to do online that I'm not going to get to tonight because I'm going to try going to bed earlier in an effort to actually get some sleep. I also want to go to the post office to send stuff and maybe buy stamps (for $6.66, heh), and to a music store to treat myself for a new CD for having gone and done the audition and to celebrate having finally shaken of what's been plaguing me. But these plans I'm delaying for fear of missing a phone call that might not come anyway.

Arg. I bet waiting for my grades next semester will be just as nerve-wracking. But at least my heart isn't pounding anymore and I'm relatively calm, although less so than I was a bit earlier.

But I should be able to find ways to occupy myself while waiting. I could resize the pictures I want to use for my user icons, as I have downloaded a free, Photoshop-like program and therefore don't have to wait another month and a half or more to use Photoshop on campus. And I have lots of things I could read. There's a stack of three magazines on top of my speaker. Also, some new reading material fell into my lap today: Ron Suskind's A Hope in the Unseen, which is about a kid from the inner city who goes to an Ivy League college. We're using it in the peer mentor training this year, apparently. Also, in a letter with the book, is the schedule for training and whatnot this year. Thursday through Saturday before classes start, which is right after Labor day. Well, there went any possibility of catching the whole weekend of Bumbershoot. Also, it says that mentors can move in on campus a day earlier than everyone else. Too bad I can't take advantage of that. But, I can go back earlier than that, which I suppose is an advantage.

But I need not be concerned with such things at the moment. So I think I'll try and sleep now.

Basically Another Day

Well, today didn't exactly go as I'd expected. I didn't get up as early as I had been planning, but was not as asleep for most of the time. Finally got up and took a quick shower so I could see my niece who was over. I haven't done anything with my pictures, or much reading or anything. Finally got to talk to Meg a bit though, and found out that calling tomorrow afternoon will be useless as she won't be home. So now I'm less inclined to go to Salsa Under the Stars, as that costs money, for one thing, and will keep me out in the evening. But I bowed out of it last week, so...

At this point I'm concluding that I'm not in the play. Meh. Director's loss. (If only I'd taken not getting the HA job this well..) Now I'll just have to find another way to release the excess of energy that I suddenly have, otherwise sleep is going to suffer even more.

Independence Day has become such a non-event in this house. More like a spectator holiday, like New Year's Eve. We used to have family gatherings for the fourth, complete with fireworks. That was back when I was scared of them, in case they would make someone catch on fire. I've long since gotten over that fear, unbeknownst to my mother. Then we would get together to go to Kirtland to watch the professional display there. But for several years, we've done nothing but stay home. Not even so much as sparklers, though I have two boxes of them on my desk that are three years old by now. The last time there was a family get together for the holiday was three years ago, when I was in Germany. (For some reason, that year has been coming up a lot lately.)