sjester

Today I feel pretty good. Last night I hung out with my friend Sarah, and we went shopping a bit and I bought Godiva chocolate (ooh, there's still one of them in my coat pocket - in a bag, of course). Then we went to her apartment to eat a frozen pizza, drink raspberry flavored vodka cocktails, and watch the extended version of The Fellowship of the Ring. We also talked quite a bit before starting the movie, and while wandering around going to the mall and Hastings and the grocery store. I related all the important stories from the past semester, aired my most pressing issues. Well, aside from the one thing I was trying to forget, or at least not think about.

So today I am happy and able to pretend that nothing at all is wrong. This I need to keep up until I figure out how to tell my parents about things. I kind of wish I could wait until I get back to Portland and can tell them over the phone, but that won't work. For one thing, there is a letter about it set to arrive before I depart. Besides, it will probably be a lot better to be an adult about it. Which is another reason I need to keep this attitude; calmness is essential. Getting terribly upset is not going to make it any easier to reason with my dad, especially if he is getting upset and overreacting, which I don't put it past him to do. Sometimes things just don't happen the way you intend them to, and he really has no business intending for things to go any particular way for anyone but himself. He doesn't always seem to understand that.

So now I have this gift of four months in which to follow my desires and evaluate the path I'd set for myself, which seems to be coming to a dead end, and search out a new one. (Perhaps I've been reading too much fantasy lately; it seems to be affecting the way I'm thinking about this. Then again, maybe that's not such a bad thing.)

( A few goals for the upcoming weeks and months. )